*** WARNING ***
This contains explicit violence scenes, foul language and apology towards drugs and sex. This may not be suited for minors. Please check with your Regional Administrative Board of Censorship for a propper text classification.
— Approved —
This has been approved by the Homeland Security Department. There is nothing here that could instigate against our country. Each and every word of this has been checked and re-checked by a team of anti-terrorism experts, and it has been guaranteed that this will never be of any help to our enemy. This does not reveal any top-secret information that could shame our president. No secretly coded message can be found here. If you are reading this, it is our duty to inform you that your name is already on our”possible-traitors list“. Being on that list also qualifies you to win our special great prize: ten newly designed shelves for your kitchen.
In case you are a real terrorist and read this hoping to use this info, you can rest assured: we already know who you are. This web-page was specially designed to record your face and send it to our Headquarters in Kissimmee, Florida. Do not try to close this web-page – NOW IT IS TOO LATE. Do not try to run because our radar has already picked you up, you useless criminal. STOP IT RIGHT THERE! FREEZE! HANDS ON YOUR HEAD! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OF… FUCK! YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT! YOU DO NOT EXIST ANYMORE! AND THINK IT WOULD BE ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE OUR WAY OF LIFE FOR YOU TO WIN YOUR WATER-PROOF KITCHEN SHELVES!
