Feed on
Posts
Comments

Delivering a sermon

 

On the third day there was a marriage and it came to pass that all the wine was drunk. The mother of Jesus said onto the Lord, “they have no more wine”. Jesus said onto the the servants, “fill five water-pots with water”, and they did so. When the steward of the feast did taste of the water from the pots it had become wine and he knew not whence it came. But the servants did know though, and applauded loudly in the kitchen. They said onto the Lord, “how the hell did you do that?”. And inquired of Him, “do you do childrens’ parties”? The Lord said, “…No”. But they did press Him, saying, “Go on, give us another one”.

And so He brought forth a carrot and said, “behold this, for it is a carrot”. And all about him knew it was so, for it was orange with a green top. And He did place large red cloth over the carrot and then did remove it and low He held in His hand a white rabbit. All were amazed and said, “this guy is really good. He should turn professional”.

And they brought him on a stretcher a man who was sick of the palsy, and they cried onto Him, “maestro, this man is sick of the palsy”. And the Lord said, “if I had to spend my whole on a stretcher, I’d be pretty sick of the palsy too”! And they were filled with joy, crying out, “Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks… thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer”!

Then came a woman onto Him called Mary, who had seen the Lord unbelieved. And Jesus said onto her, “put on the toe-toe… and lie down on this box”. And then took He forth a sword and cleft her in tween. And there was much wailing in the gnashing of teeth. But Jesus said, “ye, ow little”. And He threw open the box and low Mary was whole! And the crowd went absolutely be-nonce.

Jesus and Mary took a big bow, and He said onto her, “for now on, you shall be named Sharon, for it is a good name for an assistand”.

Sonet on Love

 

When most I wink, then do my eyes best see,

For all day they view things unrespected;

But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,

And darkly bright are bright in dark directed.

 

Then thou, whose shadow’s shadow make doth bright,

How would thy shadow’s form form happy show

To the clear day with thy much clearer light,

When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!

 

How would, I say, my eyes be blessed made

By looking on thee in the living day,

When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade

Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!

 

All days are nights to see till I see thee,

And nights bright days when dreams show thee me.

 *** WARNING ***

This contains explicit violence scenes, foul language and apology towards drugs and sex. This may not be suited for minors. Please check with your Regional Administrative Board of Censorship  for a propper text classification.

— Approved —

This has been approved by the Homeland Security Department. There is nothing here that could instigate against our country. Each and every word of this has been checked and re-checked by a team of anti-terrorism experts, and it has been guaranteed that this will never be of any help to our enemy. This does not reveal any top-secret information that could shame our president. No secretly coded message can be found here. If you are reading this, it is our duty to inform you that your name is already on our”possible-traitors list“. Being on that list also qualifies you to win our special great prize: ten newly designed shelves for your kitchen.

In case you are a real terrorist and read this hoping to use this info, you can rest assured: we already know who you are. This web-page was specially designed to record your face and send it to our Headquarters in Kissimmee, Florida. Do not try to close this web-page - NOW IT IS TOO LATE. Do not try to run because our radar has already picked you up, you useless criminal. STOP IT RIGHT THERE! FREEZE! HANDS ON YOUR HEAD! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OF… FUCK! YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT! YOU DO NOT EXIST ANYMORE! AND THINK IT WOULD BE ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE OUR WAY OF LIFE FOR YOU TO WIN YOUR WATER-PROOF KITCHEN SHELVES!

Cultural Week, week of examinations, graduation ceremony (and pictures), graduation party (and wow even more pictures), the end of the year, summer intensive course for the tests of our lives… there are constantly too many things for the students to do at school. Well, at least for those who are at the “3rd and final” grade… who are ready to finally step outside high-school and live our own lives, as we have so long desired.

Yeah, that’s right. The end has come and what now is left is no more than a mere formality. We all smile, take pictures, pretend to laugh (while we would rather cry), and do all that very same repetitive stuff every student does when they graduate. Among this uncertainty, there is at least one thing we can ascertain: we will surely miss this.

Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured, there is no problem whatsoever in coming to terms with the fact that we only live once. Each and every moment of ours is unique, however stupid it might seem or have been. High-school was a challenge indeed and one I am very proud of accomplishing. But we should bear in mind that what made our time was not the school, nor its faculty. It was us, the students, the people we have met, those whom we have come to consider friends.

Those we have been with are the ones who really shape us and make us presentable to the world pass the school’s hedge. And specially from now on, those are the ones we should remember. Those are the ones who deserve a picture in our graduation albums. As I have adequately put, time is short and always against us. But, wait… time is still not up… It is true there is only a little bit left, but it can prove extremely worth it.

I am back, at last! It has been one, two, I’d dare even saying three months I do not post anything on this blog. I’ll tell you what? I have been so much occupied with school-works, assignments and other academic obligations that I simply don’t have the time and patience to come around here and write something about myself. And, by the way, why am I writing this anyway? I mean, what is the purpose, since I know nobody ever reads this?

The worst thing is not knowing that only very few people read this… what frustrates me the most is knowing that those few are as reluctant and as obsolete as me. I cannot see any other reason why someone would drop by to read my useless comments besides the clear mean to kill time. And by the way, since you have come so far, and have read this article so far, it means you still have some time to kill (mine is dead and buried) and should, therefore, send me a comment telling me what to write next.

Anyway, let us stop complaining about life and let’s start deciding things. I have a confession to make. Up to now, I hadn’t stopped to think of what I wanted next. I didn’t have any goal, besides the one of learning and getting high grades. My point is (or was, maybe the simple past is the most accurate tense): I was doing what I wished to.

Now, I’ve figured out there is something deeper about life. Something worthy fighting for. A challenge, I would say. And this is one challenge I’d like to take. In fact, there isn’t only one challenge: there are two. I have set myself two goals, which will remain secret until they are fulfilled (I do not dare making them public, for I am afraid of failing ever to attain them). And whoa! here is something nice: both objectives involve people… I am working for somebody else’s sake. (You see, I am honorable) Later on I’ll let you know exactly what I am talking about. One of my goals is short-term, meaning it will be solved within 2 or 3 weeks or so. The other one is something more complex. It will require time, study, cash, an airplane and fourteen one-dollar bills and a pencil.

But what truly matters is: I have two goals. Two things to fight for. I am from this very moment on trying to work them out, and make them possible. If I succeed, I’ll keep you posted. If I fail, I’ll forget about the subject and pretend nothing happened. After all, the only person on this God-forsaken Earth who knows what my goals are is… well.. as far as I can remember… me… only.

Well, well, weeeelllllllllllllll. What am I expected to say now? Not sure, though…

Homer SimpsonOk. Enough with this non-sense. I am here to tell you something rather important, at least to me. During these last few weeks (meines Lebens), I have come across to this piece of saying which has invariably changed the whole way I see the world around. In fact, it is not something deep. Nor is it a piece of advice. I simply believe this is one of those tiny little things that make you feel happy while the rain is falling outside.

You can argue it is simplistic and totally pointless, but I am sure we need to rethink ourselves after reading it:

Before a man can indeed be a man, he must first love a woman, plant a tree and write a book.”

To many of you this makes absolutely no sense, I assume. And indeed it is the deep interpretation which holds the secret key to understanding the saying and its assumptions. Think about life. But not yours. Think of a man’s life. Someone you have never heard of, nor imagined. A man whom you will invent right now. Name him, define his looks as a rubbish child, make up a countryside setting for his life. Now fast-foward time as he grows up, becomes a teenager, achieves his goals, marries an attractive woman, has offspring, brings up his children, and finally grows old.

Now stop.

What has he left the world with? What useful purpose has he served for, besides the obvious mean of perpetuation of the human race? Nothing! This man is a completely empty shell. That is why a man’s reason to live must be something different than presenting the world with his offspring. Men must develop and hoon their intelectual skill. We must bring into the world things that might be useful later on.

Draw up a set of propositions to save the world (even though if no one is ever going to take them seriously). Do your part as a man. If you love, become a poet. Compose poems declaring your love. Write about your experiences and the conclusions you have drawn from them. Leave the next generations with something they will gaze upon and wonder how important you were, how you lived and above all how fiercely you loved.

And last, but not least comes Nature. If one cannot do all, then one must do all they can. Sow your seeds, plant a tree. And let your grandchildren harvest its fruit.

Hostel, Teil Zwei

Jedes Jahr werden in Amerika 10.000 Menschen mit Schloßwaffen getötet.

Amerikaner haben einfach keine Fantasie…
Hostel, Teil Zwei
— Demnächst im Kino —

So, are you ready to be tortured? To be exposed to the worst feelings you could possibly ever imagine? Are you ready to see people get cut and bleed to death? See bones break and ankles sprain? Watch ligaments be torn apart? Hear people scream while their fingers are cut off one by one? Are you ready to be burned to the stake as a dead fish? Or freeze to death inside an freezer, surrounded by decomposing corposes? Be fried in a pan full of gasoline while the very air you breath is poisonous? Are you ready to face the russians in an endless game of pain and suffering? Unemaginable torture scenes, with plenty blood, violence, foul language…Torture Scene

Unleash the demons inside your brain and get ready to torture everyone… anywhere… anytime… for money…

Puzzled by Doubt

On August 12th I turned 18 and there is this friend of mine who gave me a book. Even though it is in fact a little bit childish, I have very much appreciated it as I read it through. I assume most you have already read this (and for those who haven’t I strongly recommend you to). The written work I am talking about is called The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

Now… I mean it. It is a little bit childish, but it is very much worth reading it. And actually it has got only 78 pages, written in big letters and full of drawings. So, it won’t take you more than a couple hours to read thoroughly. And, by the way, in case you DO read the book, you should pay great attention to the philosophical issues of the story, not simply read it.

Anyway, here is an extract from this book which I found very compelling and somewhat thoughtful:

THE NEXT PLANET was inhabitated by a drunkard. This visit was a very brief one, but it plunged the little prince into  a deep depression.
“What are you doing there?” he asked the drunkard, whom he found  sunk in silence before a collection of empty bottles and a collection of full ones.
“Drinking.” replied the drunkard, with a gloomy expression.
“Why are you drinking?” the little prince asked.
“To forget” replied the drunkard.
“To forget what?” inquired the little prince, who was already feeling sorry for him.
“To forget that I am ashamed,” confessed the drunkard, hanging his head.
“What are you ashamed of?” inquired the little prince, who wanted to help.
“Of drinking!” concluded the drunkard, withdrawing into a silence for good. And the little prince went on his way, puzzled.
“Grown-ups are certainly very, very strange,” he said to himself as he continued his journey.
 

What was the true problem with the drunk man?

How to operate a computerI have a friend of mine whose computer is ALWAYS (and when I say always, I mean totally continuously) full of viruses. And the most surprising thing is: nobody knows how thoses viruses do slip through its security. So, I decided to put him and his computer under my strict surveillance to see if I could figure out this perplexing dilemma.

Oww, boy… Why did I choose to do that? It was only to find that he is the most stu**d person ever in front of the pc. You know? That kind of little person who clicks every single link and believes in what everybody says? The easiest person to fool on Earth! That’s him! I came to terms with the fact I’d have to make him some guidelines so that he could surf the web “safely”. My advices are listed below:

(This is for those who are naive enough to still believe Mr Kennedy didn’t have an affair with miss Monica under the roofs of the White House - just like my friend does)

1- Big companies do not do business via chain-letter as well as Bill Gates is not giving you $1000 if you click this link. Nor is Disney willing to give you a free-vacation ticket.

2- There is no baby-food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax! There is no need to pass it on “just in case it’s true“. Furthermore, just because someone said in the middle of the message that “four generations back, we checked it out and it’s legit“, does not actually make it true.

3 - There’s no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice… even if a friend of a friend of yours swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hellbent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
I quote: “The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories. None have.”

That’s “none” as in “zero”. Not even your friend’s cousin.

4 - Neiman Marcus does not trully sell a $200 cookie-recipe. And even if he did, we all have it. If you do not, you can get a copy at
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
Then, if you make the recipe and realize that the cookies are awesome… feel free to pass the recipe onto the Neiman Marcus story.

5 - Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went on polluting the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?

6 - There is no good virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warnings, unless you first confirm it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses. Try:
http://www.symantec.com.
And even then, don`t forward it. We don`t care.Neiman Marcus’ $200 Cookie-Recipe

7 - If you are using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the “HTML encoding.” People on unix shells can’t read it, and they do not care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you’re probably forwarding a copy of the Neiman Marcus’ Cookie Recipe anyway.

8 - If you still absolutely MUST forward me that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who’s received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn’t hurt to get rid of all the that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around
that many times, I’ve probably already seen it.

How to live

DNA Molecule Formation by 3DScience.comEach and every person is born with their fate written into their own genetic code. It is unchangeable, immutable… And they will carry it inside themselves until they give away their last grasp. But that is not all there is to life. I finally realized this. I told you before the reason why I was interested in genes and DNA is because I wanted to know who I was; where I came from; where I was headed.

I imagined that if I analyzed my DNA, I could find out who I was, who my parents were. And I thought if I knew that, then I would know what path I should take in life. Living would be much easier. But I was wrong. I didn’t find anything. Nor did I learn anything.

It is just like with the Genome Soldiers… one can input all the genetic information into their cells, but this will not make them into the strongest soldiers. The most we can say about DNA is that it governs a person’s potential strengths, potential love, potential destiny.

We musn’t allow ourselves to be chained to fate… to be ruled by our genes. We can choose the type of life we want to live. The important thing is that we choose life. And then live! Don’t you think? Don’t worry… I’m going to choose life too. Until today I have always looked for a reason to live. But from here on, I’m going to just live.

Genes exist to pass down our hopes and dreams to the future through our children. Living is a link to the future. That’s how all life works. Loving each other, teaching each other… that’s how we can change the world. I finally realized the true meaning of life…

Older Posts »